Sep 30, 2016
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Why We Focus on Teens!!!

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Ever wonder, “Why does the Domestic Violence Action Center, or DVAC, have a program just for teens?” Or, “Do teens really go through serious stuff in their relationships?” “Isn’t that stuff just normal teens being teens with all their hormones and trying to figure out who they are?”

The answer to this is, absolutely NOT!

Being a teenager is supposed to be fun!

 

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Yes, you’re figuring out who you are, where you belong, and what you want to do; you’re also trying to decide what kind of person you want to be and what kind of person you want to be with. This is crucial to the teen years, because often, if you don’t learn from them, the mistakes you make in dating as a teen will be repeated in adulthood.

This is why we decided to focus on teens. Evidence shows that teens often don’t even realize they’re in an unhealthy relationship when they are. Sometimes it’s because they are just doing what they see at home. Sometimes they’re emulating things they see played out in the media that appears to be cool at most and normal at least. Typically, teens wait until an unhealthy relationship turns physically violent before reaching out for help. The Teen Alert Program recognized this and decided to surge forward with a program that would reach out to teens and talk to them about warnings signs, and other characteristics, in an attempt to prevent such things from occurring.

Check this out!

  • Only half of all tweens (age 11-14) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)
  • 80% of teens regard verbal abuse as a “serious issue” for their age group. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)
  • 1 in 3 teens in the United States experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend each year. (U.S. Centers for Disease Control’s 2005 study on Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim.)
  • 62% of tweens (age 11-14) who have been in a relationship say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called stupid, worthless, ugly, etc.) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)
  • If trapped in an abusive relationship, 73% of teens said they would turn to a friend for help; but only 33% who have been in or known about an abusive relationship said they have told anyone about it. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)
  • Less than 25% of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study of teens 13-17 conducted by Applied Research and Consulting LLC, Spring 2000)
  • Of the women between the ages 15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend. (City of New York, Teen Relationship Abuse Fact Sheet, March 1998)

Being in a relationship can be difficult at times. Leaving a relationship can be even harder. Now, don’t get me wrong! I am in no way saying that every relationship where there are problems, that means there is abuse. Nor am I saying that you or your partner will never mess up; or make each other mad. I’m not even telling you that you don’t have the right to feel angry! Or hurt. Or frustrated; irritated; needing space. All of these, and more, are very natural feelings. However, it’s how we express those feelings that can sometimes be the problem.

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Sometimes it can be difficult to receive or ask for help from the people you trust most. Abuse happens in ALL types of relationships- teen relationships; heterosexual relationships (either guy to girl or girl to guy); and LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, and more) relationships. Teen Dating Violence (TDV) happens no matter the race/ethnicity of the individuals in the couple; no matter how much money they or their families have; no matter how much, or what kind of, education they have. Abuse can affect anyone!

The Teen Alert Program is here to be an inclusive, prevention and intervention fountain of information and resources for you! We also have a Teen Advocate who you can access and work one-on-one with to discuss things that you may not be able to discuss with others in your life regarding your, or someone you know, potentially unhealthy relationship. The advocate will never tell you what to do; but she will provide you with the information and safety planning that you need until you feel comfortable making that decision for yourself.

Remember those statistics? How do you identify with them? Do you know someone who gets talked down to by their dating partner? Someone who used to be such fun to hang around, and now if you get to see them, they’re always on edge, worried about what their boyfriend/girlfriend might do if they catch you together; someone whose personality has completely changed since being in this relationship; someone who never seems to come around at all anymore, maybe their family barely sees them as well. Or maybe this person is you. Maybe you forgot what it was like to have fun; to be care free; to hang out with friends and family. Maybe you gave up sports, journalism club, GSA, or other things you loved. Maybe you’re in your first same-sex relationship and you’re scared of what will happen if you break up with the person, in spite of how they’re treating you. Maybe your friends expressed concern about your dating partner being trouble, and now you feel like you can’t talk to anyone without hearing “I told you so”.

Call us! Come up to us in the classrooms. Email. Let us know that you’re hurting and tell us what you need. Even if it’s just someone to talk to, reaching out for help is crucial. It doesn’t make you weak. Quite the opposite! So much strength and courage goes into reaching out for help when you need it. Hit us up on Instagram or Facebook, and let us know that you’re paying attention and how we can help you. If nothing else, comment below J

Remember, you’re not only the hope of the future…you are the hope of TODAY!

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Article Categories:
Teen

Comments to Why We Focus on Teens!!!

  • This is a good thing for teens because it tells them that they aren’t alone and that they can get help.

    Angelic October 25, 2016 6:57 pm Reply
    • We are thankful for the entire Searider family! Mahalo!

      Ixchel Samaniego October 26, 2016 1:19 am Reply
  • I think that the teen alert program is a good thing for us teens because it can help you get out of an abusive relationship before it gets worse, or before it leads to something big like getting killed.because there is actually people who die from being in abusive relationships. i also think that the program can help you realize that you are in an abusive relationship before you even know it.

    kaylee napierala October 25, 2016 7:00 pm Reply
  • The teen alert program is a good thing because it helps helpless teens with there trouble in relationships. One helpful piece of this article is the number and website to go to. This is important because one day this could save your or someone you knows life.

    Koi, leonida October 25, 2016 7:03 pm Reply
  • i think TAP focuses on teens because teens do not know when they are in a abusive relationship so they try to teach teens how to recognize a unhealthy relationship

    Donovan October 25, 2016 7:03 pm Reply
  • I think tap808 is a great website for teens because teens are in a situation where they are being hurt physically.So, i think tap808 is a good website to use because teens can contact tap for ideas on how to prevent getting hurt in a relationship.they can call (808-531-3771 or contact http://www.tap808.org).

    Blaize De La Cruz October 25, 2016 7:04 pm Reply
  • TAP is a good thing for teens because like it says your teen years are supposed to be filled with fun not just abuse and arguments . One helpful piece in the article is giving their number and website so people that need help or advise can contact them

    shaena stevens October 25, 2016 7:05 pm Reply
  • it helps you get your life back and it makes you feel and know that you will be happy and not scared anymore the helpful part was that they gave us there number so if we go through it we can call them , and they can help us all out.

    Thompson Andon October 25, 2016 7:05 pm Reply
  • This program is a good thing for others who don’t have anyone to go to for help and support a piece from the article that i thought was helpful would be giving there number and there website and saying there is many `other people out there that is struggling and going through the same problem as you are .

    Hailey October 25, 2016 7:06 pm Reply
  • The Teen Alert Program is such a good thing for teens because it prevents teens from being involved in an abusive relationship. One helpful piece of information from the article were the statistics and how we can identify them.

    Precious October 25, 2016 7:06 pm Reply
  • the teen alert program is good for teens so they can end or stay out of unhealthy relationships also a helpful piece of information from this article would be good ways to disburse your anger

    crosse gaspar October 25, 2016 7:06 pm Reply
  • This Teen Alert Program is good for teens because it makes teens fully aware of when they are in an unhealthy relationship. They are often blinded by the thought of love. They end up believing that is supposed to happen within a relationship. This website helps those teens get out of those relationships or at least help them. It is helpful when they look at the statistics. Such as, “Of the women between the ages 15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend.” Which makes them realize that they could potentially be in an unhealthy relationship. And they will begin to look for signs and seek help.

    Jeriah Domingo October 25, 2016 7:07 pm Reply
  • The Teen Alert Program is a very helpful resource for teens that are currently going through an abusive relationship and are seeking for help, and it’s a good way to learn about the signs of abusive relationships so you can avoid from being involved in one.

    Ahi McIntosh October 25, 2016 7:07 pm Reply
  • The reason why I think that the Teen Alert Program is such a good things for teens is so that teens know how to deal with the situation and how to stop violence. One helpful piece that I think is important is talk to a trusted adult and have them also help you to stop the violence. If that helpful piece doesn´t work then I would have to use self defense.

    Jaysha Militante-Hanamaikai October 25, 2016 7:08 pm Reply
  • The Teen Alert Program decided to create this program for teens so that they could reach out to teens who dont notice they are experiencing an abusive relationship, even teens who know of people in relationships that include abuse. They give ways to prevent abusive relationships from happening

    Janelle Madrid October 25, 2016 7:09 pm Reply
  • they make ypu feel like your not alone and someone is supporting you

    gabriel kalama October 25, 2016 8:04 pm Reply
  • T.A.P. is good because it helps us teens with relationships that maybe we don’t know how to help our own selves with. The most helpful thing from this article was the overall advice.

    Brian Abarca Jr October 25, 2016 8:05 pm Reply
  • I will call the Teen Alert Program if I need heelp and they try to help you.

    elaijah October 25, 2016 8:07 pm Reply
  • TAP is such a good thing for teens because it can help teens get out of abusive relationships. One helpful piece of information from this article, is that not only girls can get abused men can also get abused.

    Ho'olehua Jackson October 25, 2016 8:08 pm Reply
  • Teen alert program is good for teens because it can help teens through tough times.

    Chance October 25, 2016 8:09 pm Reply
  • This teen alert program is so important because if teens don’t know who or where to go to talk about their situation without getting someone or themselves more hurt than they can go here to talk to someone who will understand tell you how to effectively deal with this

    Emerald Mae Antonio October 25, 2016 8:09 pm Reply
  • this is a good program because some people in relationships don’t like to talk to anyone they know so this site is good for them.the most helpful thing of the article that I read was the number they give you to call for relationship abuse help.

    ethan.keawe October 25, 2016 8:11 pm Reply
  • Teen Alert Program is good for teens because it makes teens recognize what an abusive relationship. Also, it helps us teens to find help or a way to get out of a relationship that has someone who physically, mentally, emotionally hurt you. A helpful tip from this article titled “Do teens really go through serious stuff in their relationship”is to help yourself avoid abuse before it turns into a tragic story.

    Hi'i October 25, 2016 8:11 pm Reply
  • Teen Alert Program is a good thing for teens because it helps teens get out of abusive relationships.

    Stacey Monderen October 25, 2016 8:11 pm Reply
  • so they know what to do if there in a abusive relationship.

    logan October 25, 2016 8:12 pm Reply
  • The teen alert program recognized teens doing the wrong thing even when they didnt know or notice that they were being in an abusive relationship and decided to start a program that would reach out to teens and help them.

    kalistah kyah jardine October 25, 2016 8:12 pm Reply
  • its a good thing because kids/teens can be ready or prepared for something like this (abusive relationship, name calling, cussing etc.)
    one helpful piece in the article is to tell an adult.

    keani rowland October 25, 2016 8:13 pm Reply
  • one of the helpful parts of the blog was telling how others deal with it and how you can deal with the unhealthy relationship that you might have.

    kaleb kaauwai October 25, 2016 8:14 pm Reply
  • The Teen Alert program helps young adults aware of abusive relationships, they give you advice. they say tell adults about what’s going on is your relationship.

    also they give you their number (808)531-33771 & 808 (www.tap808.org) for you to call or reach out to for help. kill the issue before its to late.

    Grace October 25, 2016 8:14 pm Reply
  • it is good cause it can stop the teens from beating each other up

    Jay Richardson October 25, 2016 8:15 pm Reply
  • this program helps out in relationship problems and abusive problems

    aloha takayama October 25, 2016 8:16 pm Reply
  • To prevent us from experiencing these unhealthy bad relationships.

    Jayna pesamino October 25, 2016 8:17 pm Reply
  • It’s so good for teens because help is just a call away, it’s a choice and I hope that my friends choose to call you know?

    Charles Pouono October 25, 2016 9:57 pm Reply
  • having teen alert program is a good thing, because they explain how we can solve an abusive relationship that is physically, emotionally, or mentally. One helpful piece of information in this article is to take control of YOUR life and youll see how happy youll end up being!

    kanoho manu October 25, 2016 9:57 pm Reply
  • Because it can help teens with their situation and help them feel better.

    kevin poepoe October 25, 2016 9:59 pm Reply
  • The teen alert program is a really good things for teens because it leaves them someone to go and talk to about them and their abusive relationship and what kind of problems they are having.

    Dylan October 25, 2016 10:00 pm Reply
  • The teen alert program is good because teens will learn how to be in a healthier relationship.One helpful piece is that a “relationship can be difficult at times.”

    Joshua October 25, 2016 10:01 pm Reply
  • Because it helps teens to realize the mistakes that they tend to make without even knowing it and helps them to check their relationship to see if they themselves are in an abusive relationship. The article shows that the teens ,who are in an abusive relationship, are not alone and they have someone to turn too.

    Nicole October 25, 2016 10:02 pm Reply
  • It will help teens notice if they’re in a abusive relationship,and it shows you the effects and helps get out of an abusive relationship.

    Maegan Isimang-Tejada October 25, 2016 10:02 pm Reply
  • it’s a good thing because,you can learn better way’s of being in a relationship and what might happen being in a relationship , so it’s really good to be prepared and learn from this website.

    Dasha.Abraham-wims October 25, 2016 10:03 pm Reply
  • Because they create a plan pacifically for a certain couple

    Giana Ehia October 25, 2016 10:04 pm Reply
  • this program is a good thing for teens because it keeps them safe and they can feel comfortable . Helpful information is the statistics becuase it gives us good information about certain experiences.

    Amara Odom October 25, 2016 10:04 pm Reply
  • this tap808 program is good because it makes everyone feel like their welcomed and also makes you feel like its actually going to help you solve the problem of relationship abuse and is going to help you steps by step pushing you along the problem.this program talks about how they know its hard telling abuse from just acidents but if these things get out of hand constantly then youll be able to see the difference and also talks about how being in a relationship is hard but leaving one is even harder but how some people express their feelings could come out of hand

    phaythe shavers October 25, 2016 10:05 pm Reply
  • The Teen Alert Progam is a good thing for teens because it shows that teens who are being abused know that there not alone and that there are places they can go to for help. Its also helpful because the program gives you a site and a phone number to call if you feel safer to contact them.

    Chad Pule October 25, 2016 10:06 pm Reply
  • It gives healthy relationship pointers and reaches out to teens that are being abused so that they can speak up and tell someone that they are being hurt from their boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Ezekiel Barnes October 25, 2016 10:07 pm Reply

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