Warning Signs

Below are some warning signs of abusive relationships.
If you recognize some of these red flags in your relationship, understand that this behavior is never okay. You always deserve to be treated with respect and to feel safe in your relationship.

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend act like this?

  • Isolates you/keeps you away from your friends or family
  • Acts overly jealous and possessive
  • Acts obsessive or wants a serious relationship as soon as you meet
  • Checks up on you constantly or always texts to see where you’re at
  • Demands your online passwords or to check your cell phone
  • Tries to control you by giving orders or making all the decisions
  • Won’t accept breaking up
  • Blames you for the mistreatment/makes you feel like things are your fault
  • Pressures you for sex or physical intimacy
  • Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them
  • You worry about how they will react to the things you do or say
  • Coercion: your partner attempts to guilt trip you by saying, “If you really loved me, you would…”
  • You need his/her approval before doing anything
  • Accuses you of cheating
  • Purposefully humiliates or embarrasses you
  • Scares you by acting violently, yelling, or breaking things

If you’re in a LGBTQ relationship, here are some additional warning signs:

  • Your partner tries to convince you that it’s you and them against the world and that no one else can or will understand your relationship
  • Your partner has been out longer than you, therefore they tell you how and what you need to be doing in your life to be LGBTQ
  • Your partner ridicules or belittles your identity as gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, femme, butch, etc.
  • Your partner tries to convince you that no one will take a LGBTQ victim seriously
  • Your partner threatens to come out for you to your family, friends, or job1


The Teen Alert Program has helped hundreds of teenagers who have experienced abusive relationships. If you would like to learn more about our Advocacy Services or would like to speak to our Teen Advocate who works directly with teen victims of dating violence, call 808-531-3771 and ask to speak to the Teen Advocate, or email us at teen@stoptheviolence.org.

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